We are always in transition. If you can just relax with that, you’ll have no problem.
Over the past week, I’ve been observing my own process of letting go of the expectations that I have of myself and everything else around me.
I remember the moment when I decided to begin the journey of seeking my spirit, I was really excited to break free from the routine of having to be somewhere for 8 hours. I created a line-up of the things that I have “expected” to get into which for the last 3 months has kept me occupied. I’ve always had an attitude of creating challenges in my path and of doing things just for the sake of entertaining the part of me that fears to be empty.
I go into cycles of disappointment and redemption doing these things, these so-called challenges that I have put up for myself. In my head I already have expectations of doing so well, that everything I do will be perfect. I get hurt when it doesn’t turn out the way I expected things to be or when things are not done in a specific way a.k.a “my way”.
I started feeling how my expectations are beginning to suck the joy out of me. I am becoming the victim of my actions. I was trapped in my own trap of expectations. Everything was getting so shaky. I fear being empty. I fear not doing anything. I fear not knowing. At the same time, I was also beginning to fear that I am once again doing things that I don’t want to do.
It was in a recent conversation with my husband, Scott, that opened my eyes to the truth that I am using my imagination to get stuck instead of using it to create possibilities. I can turn things around by using the imagination in a way that benefits my well-being, TO CREATE POSSIBILITES.
It is so easy to create our own suffering, it is so easy to cause our own pain.
The things that we run in our imagination doesn’t turn out the same version as it is in our reality. This will always be the truth. Reality is its own version. Reality is the course of the present moment,
In healing myself from this experience, I must always remind myself that,
I am choosing to let go of my fears, first by no longer masking them,
I am embracing my fears by trusting my experience of the present moment,
I am allowing the journey to take me where I need to be,
I take responsibility of my well-being,
I stop when it’s no longer fun,
I am fully trusting myself,
I am bestowing loving kindness upon myself by being very honest with everything,
I am practicing compassion, compassion, compassion towards myself and all beings around me, especially in annoying situations.
I see my being as open-ended,
I am loving and respecting myself by accepting and embracing who I am right now.