Today I think about how to not feel victimized by my Facebook newsfeed. There’s a lot of posts from my friends about “white smoke” and “black smoke” that relates to the Vatican’s newly elected Pope. Page after page of just that.
Seriously, what does that say about me? That I need a new set of friends on Facebook? I thought about that. I like seeing what people are up to and I read what they say, that’s why I am on Facebook. I like feeling that I am not isolated and not the only one with crazy thoughts.
What I really don’t like is reading or seeing posts about religion. It freaks me out. It makes me cringe. It’s not that I have no respect for religion. I just had a very imprisoned experience of religion when I was growing up, and that’s where my wound is coming from in all of this.
A good friend of mine, who is very sweet had paid me a visit about a week ago and had asked me why my husband and I don’t go to church. I told her that it’s not where I am anymore with my faith. I wanted to tell her more but I stopped at that. I wish I did because she looked at me blankly which tells me that she couldn’t relate to what I just said. I believe that there is a God and my relationship with God is how I practice to treat myself everyday with love and dignity. And I disrespect God when I am not being good to myself and to others.
Where I stand with religion is that I don’t stand anywhere with it. I love my friends and family who are into religion but I have no plans of seeing God the way I was taught to see and worship him when I was growing up. I liked the idea of people gathering at the church once a week–what I don’t like is the homily and the whole shame thing being preached like it was normal to be ashamed all the time. That is how our own personalities and individualities disappear. When we are taught to be ashamed of ourselves and our bodies, we become robots and stereotypes. I am not gonna go into details about this because I know my mom reads my blogs sometimes.
So I am skipping browsing my Facebook Newsfeed for the next couple of days and start fresh!